Confessions of a mother

I didn’t think I’d be blogging about personal life on this blog since I do that on my other blog but I was having a rough evening with my children. The day started out fine enough, as they most often do. We all worked in the garden for quite a while since we haven’t been able to do much picking veggies these last few weeks because the smoke here in Northern Calif. has just been SO bad. The kids are used to going outside and playing but for weeks now it’s been hit and miss trying to get them out to run off their energy because of the days we’ve had of unhealthy air quality. The worst part is, there is NOWHERE to go. Yes, we could take them to a fast food place with a play area but who can do that everyday? It came to a point a couple weeks ago we just HAD to, we’re almost to that point again.

Back to my day. I can already see the effects of their being cooped up now for almost 2 whole days and it’s horrible, for everyone. They are jittery, chatty, full of energy and just full of innocent devilment and this evening I just got to the point where I couldn’t take it. My husband is at school again this evening and normally him being gone isn’t a big deal. Afterall, I’m used to being a military wife (which I am not anymore) but I’m used to being almost a single parent.

I couldn’t take it a minute longer so I sent the kids to Great-Grandma with dinner for half an hour. All I need is half an hour to find my center, wherever it may be. I tried quietly eating dinner on the recliner but not before I took a few minutes to relax and breath. I wasn’t feeling 100% normal again and I hopped on the computer, (of all places!) and went to my blog here and as soon as I heard the song “You’re Gonna Miss This” by Trace Adkins and playing, it was like magic, I immediately felt better. I know that sounds corny, there are a lot of songs/music that I hold near and dear and I didn’t hop on the blog to hear it. I hadn’t even thought about it but it just came on like normal and just lifted a huge weight. It’s amazing how songs and music can do that.

I know one day, I WILL miss this despite how frazzled I may have been only a moment ago. I already do miss things and I tell everyone how fast children grow and mine are only 4 and 2! So, I’m ready to have my children back again :o)-fresh new face, fresh new center.

And…if you can’t hear the songs on the blog either A. turn your sound up if you’re so inclined :o) or use Modzilla Firefox. Internet Explorer has been screwing things up lately.

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One thought on “Confessions of a mother

  1. I so totally know how you feel. Mothering is a hard job but, so beautiful. I’m 37 with two girls 13 and 10, two boys 3 and 21 months and, I have the nerve to think I want another one!

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